These links and materials relate to the interpersonal skills of active listening, clarifying, probing and asking non-directive questions.

There is a wealth of material available which describes the skills of effective or active listening and also effective questioning techniques. While these can help an inexperienced personal tutor to understand the difference between giving advice and facilitating another’s decisions, there is no real substitute for practicing. This is where role-play can be extremely valuable, although many people are initially reluctant to take part (see Using these resources for a workshop which makes use of a relatively non-threatening approach to role-play.) 

Here is some brief advice from the University of Reading: Listening skills

Facilitating someone's personal growth and decision-making abilities naturally draws on the concepts and theories of client-centred counselling. The handout below describes the range of techniques used by counsellors, placing them on a pendulum: at one end the counsellor/tutor solves the problems of the client/student; at the other, the client/student is helped to solve problems themselves.

Counselling techniques

Certainly the skills of active listening, drawing out, clarifying and reflecting back are a basic part of the counsellor’s repertoire, but most personal tutor guides emphasise strongly that the personal tutor is not the same as a trained counsellor. These techniques can be powerful, sometimes making the tutee aware of emotions previously unacknowledged or ignored – and personal tutors suddenly find themselves out of their depth with a highly-distressed student. It is helpful to be prepared by discussing in advance (with more experienced tutors and during training session) how such a situation can be handled. 

In particular it is helpful to set clear boundaries to the relationship from the beginning, and to be very clear about how to access more specialist services who have the training and the time to offer help (see the Setting agendas; clarifying expectations; developing contracts and Referral to other/specialist services).

The videoclip below shows a tutor using the skill of active listening to help a withdrawn student begin to acknowledge her depression and explore some possible ways forward. 

 Scenario 5: A depressed student?

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